Wednesday, June 28, 2006
11 weeks to go!
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially 29 weeks today! That means that if my due date is correct and the baby comes exactly on time, I only have 11 weeks to go! (Which I doubt Cayson makes his world debut when he's supposed to!) I can't believe how fast time has flown. It seems like I just found out I was pregnant and now it's almost over. I'm going for my next doctor's appointment this weekend so please pray that everything still looks great!
Monday, June 26, 2006
One Proud Sister Coming Right Up!
Well, I've got to brag a little bit. My brother, Kevin, is 17 years old. (I know, it's hard to believe, isn't it Lee Ann?) Well about a year ago, he surrendered to the ministry. He's been given the opportunity to speak for his youth group several times. And he does a really good job. God has transformed him into a confident young man. Also, he's been given the opportunity to intern at his church, Immanuel Baptist in Warren. (Which is also my home church!) About a month ago, their pastor told Kevin that he wanted to give him the opportunity to preach on Sunday morning. Well, the big day was yesterday. I really hate that I didn't get to come and hear him, but I'm told that he did a great job. It's just an awesome feeling to know that my brother is doing exactly what God has called him to do. This is what I've always wanted for him. For him to follow God. And I praise God for the work that He's doing in Kevin. I know that God has some great plans for him!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Finally some pics!
Here is my latest picture of me. Now keep in mind, it was taken on Monday when I was not feeling well and the sun was in my eyes. But I promised a recent pic so here goes nothing!
Also, I took some pics at work today of my cute kids at the daycare. (I just love my new camera, can't you tell?)
We got to eat lunch at our local Mexican restaurant today because the "big kids" went to a movie!
Kids say the cutest things!
For your reading pleasure here's an email I got today. I got a kick out of it and I hope you do as well!
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.As he was coming down the aisle, he would taketwo steps, stop, and turn to the crowd.While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR,all the way down the aisle.As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears fromlaughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
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One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was"acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some senseof order in the pew but were losing the battle.Finally, the father picked the little fellow upand walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Prayfor me! Pray for me!"
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One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trashin our baskets."
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A Sunday School teacher asked her littlechildren, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about theplatform, jerking the mike cord as he went.Then he moved to one side, getting wound up inthe cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother andwhispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You'renot supposed to talk out loud in church.""Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,"See those two men standing by the door? They'rehushers."
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked , "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?""You're both old," he replied.
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A ten-year old, under the tutelage of hergrandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable aboutthe Bible.Then, one day, she floored her grandmother byasking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
A little boy was in a relative's wedding.As he was coming down the aisle, he would taketwo steps, stop, and turn to the crowd.While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR,all the way down the aisle.As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears fromlaughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was"acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some senseof order in the pew but were losing the battle.Finally, the father picked the little fellow upand walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Prayfor me! Pray for me!"
---------------------------------------------------------------
One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trashin our baskets."
---------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday School teacher asked her littlechildren, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
---------------------------------------------------------------
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about theplatform, jerking the mike cord as he went.Then he moved to one side, getting wound up inthe cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother andwhispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church.Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You'renot supposed to talk out loud in church.""Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,"See those two men standing by the door? They'rehushers."
---------------------------------------------------------------
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked , "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?""You're both old," he replied.
---------------------------------------------------------------
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of hergrandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable aboutthe Bible.Then, one day, she floored her grandmother byasking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
---------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
Monday, June 19, 2006
Finally, something positive!
Wow, two posts in one day! That's what happens when you're home stuck in the bed, I guess. Except I finally got to get out tonight after spending 2 1/2 days in the bed. Shaun's parents stopped by this afternoon to deliver me some things from my parents. (I'll talk about that more in a minute.) Well, they were on their way to Fort Smith so we ended up meeting them there and going out to eat. I was finally feeling a little better. We went to a new place, well new to us anyway. It's called Calico County. It's a homecookin' type place. It was really good! Afterwards we all went to Wal-mart because we needed to buy some groceries. We had a good time. But I can tell I am pregnant and still a little sick. I wore out pretty quickly.
Now about what my parents sent me. Shaun's parents had to go to Monticello this past weekend to help Shaun's sister Kelly move into her new apartment. So I came up with the great idea for my parents to send me some tomatoes. Now, if you've ever been pregnant you understand cravings. I have been CRAVING some tomatoes ever since the first of June. Now, not just any tomatoes would do. They had to be homegrown Bradley County tomatoes. I was wanting them soooooo bad! Like, one night I was talking to my parents on the phone and they started talking about tomatoes. I actually started crying because I couldn't have any! The hormones were really ragin' that night!!! So anyway, my dad met Shaun's parents with some tomatoes. Also some fresh squash, potatoes, and bell peppers! (I'm a sucker for fresh veggies!) Well that's what Shaun's parents brought me today. And tonight I finally got to eat my first Bradley County tomato since last year. And let me tell you, it was worth the wait! Like I said before, if you've been pregnant and had a craving and that craving gets satisfied you know that it's a wonderful feeling.
Also today Shaun surprised me with a new digital camera! We'd been saving for one because we didn't want to have the baby and not have a good camera to capture the moments. It's a nice one, too. I am so excited about it. I will take some pictures of myself soon. I know Lee Ann hasn't seen me since Joey's wedding in March. I've gotten bigger since then! And some of you have never seen me. So I will get on that ASAP.
Well, I guess that's it for now. Thanks for listening to my excitement over getting out of the house and eating a tomato!
Now about what my parents sent me. Shaun's parents had to go to Monticello this past weekend to help Shaun's sister Kelly move into her new apartment. So I came up with the great idea for my parents to send me some tomatoes. Now, if you've ever been pregnant you understand cravings. I have been CRAVING some tomatoes ever since the first of June. Now, not just any tomatoes would do. They had to be homegrown Bradley County tomatoes. I was wanting them soooooo bad! Like, one night I was talking to my parents on the phone and they started talking about tomatoes. I actually started crying because I couldn't have any! The hormones were really ragin' that night!!! So anyway, my dad met Shaun's parents with some tomatoes. Also some fresh squash, potatoes, and bell peppers! (I'm a sucker for fresh veggies!) Well that's what Shaun's parents brought me today. And tonight I finally got to eat my first Bradley County tomato since last year. And let me tell you, it was worth the wait! Like I said before, if you've been pregnant and had a craving and that craving gets satisfied you know that it's a wonderful feeling.
Also today Shaun surprised me with a new digital camera! We'd been saving for one because we didn't want to have the baby and not have a good camera to capture the moments. It's a nice one, too. I am so excited about it. I will take some pictures of myself soon. I know Lee Ann hasn't seen me since Joey's wedding in March. I've gotten bigger since then! And some of you have never seen me. So I will get on that ASAP.
Well, I guess that's it for now. Thanks for listening to my excitement over getting out of the house and eating a tomato!
Stuck at Home
Well, I mentioned in my last post that I was sick. Well I still am. Turns out, I have tonsilitis. Yuck! My throat hurts so bad. Plus, I have the normal pregnancy discomforts. I wasn't even able to go to church yesterday. And I'm stuck at home today, too. I was supposed to work at the daycare today, but Doc said no. And I was supposed to babysit Ty Mills tonight but that's not going to happen either, probably. Oh well, I guess I'll make the best of it. I get all the ice cream and popsicles I want! It's a good thing I'm pregnant. Otherwise, I'd be worried about gaining weight, too! My doctor is calling m
e in some antibiotics today, so hopefully I will start to feel better soon!
BTW, Yarnell's White Chocolate Mousse Frozen Yogurt is awesome! Just in case you were wondering!
e in some antibiotics today, so hopefully I will start to feel better soon!BTW, Yarnell's White Chocolate Mousse Frozen Yogurt is awesome! Just in case you were wondering!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Friday Fever (I was tagged!)
Name your favorite...
1. Candy: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (especially the egg-shaped ones at Easter!)
2. Cookie: Peanut Butter...soft and gooey!
3. Donut: glazed
4. Cold Drink: Pre-pregnancy-Dr. Pepper Now: (because I can't have caffeine) I guess A&W Root beer
5. Hot Drink: Any kind of latte
I'm tagging Shaun and Suzanne!
Oh Lee Ann, by the way, you gave me your cooties! I've been sick today! yuck. :(
1. Candy: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (especially the egg-shaped ones at Easter!)
2. Cookie: Peanut Butter...soft and gooey!
3. Donut: glazed
4. Cold Drink: Pre-pregnancy-Dr. Pepper Now: (because I can't have caffeine) I guess A&W Root beer
5. Hot Drink: Any kind of latte
I'm tagging Shaun and Suzanne!
Oh Lee Ann, by the way, you gave me your cooties! I've been sick today! yuck. :(
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Student ministry, daycare, and engagement rings
I know, I know, I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been so busy! We've kicked off our youth ministry and it's keeping us going! The cool thing about it is we've had a pretty consistent number of students show up to every event we've had so far. Granted, it's about an average of 8 people, but that is so much better than the ZERO who were coming! We get to fix up a youth room for them and we are going to work on phase 1 of the project on Saturday. They aready have a "game" room, so to speak. It has a pool table, a foosball table, and an old arcade game that no longer works in it! Also, the walls are in horrible shape. So we are going to start by cleaning up that room and fixing the walls and stuff. Then we are going to cook out and play volleyball!
Also going on in my busy life is working at the daycare. God has really taken care of me with that. I took that job mainly because they needed somebody and I wanted to get out of the house and meet people in our community. I was really scared about it at first. I didn't feel like I was adequate enough to work there. Don't ask me why...I'm always scared when I start something new. However, I knew that God really wanted me to work there. I was beginning to wonder if I'd made a mistake about 2 or 3 weeks ago, though. Things just weren't going well. But it's working out now and I really enjoy working there. The kids are soooooo cute! And it's really preparing me for motherhood. I've learned so much there that I didn't really know.
Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Oh, I almost forgot. I got some great news today. We made the final payment on my engagement ring last week and they sent us the papers on it today! So, 3 years after I got it, I finally own it!!! I think this is the first major thing that Shaun and I have paid off together, so it's a pretty great feeling! Also, our refridgerator should be paid off next month! I wish my car was closer...I still have 2 more years on it. Oh well, one thing at a time!
That's really it now. I have an employee meeting at the daycare in an hour, so I've got to get freshened up for that. I hope everyone else is having a great day!
Also going on in my busy life is working at the daycare. God has really taken care of me with that. I took that job mainly because they needed somebody and I wanted to get out of the house and meet people in our community. I was really scared about it at first. I didn't feel like I was adequate enough to work there. Don't ask me why...I'm always scared when I start something new. However, I knew that God really wanted me to work there. I was beginning to wonder if I'd made a mistake about 2 or 3 weeks ago, though. Things just weren't going well. But it's working out now and I really enjoy working there. The kids are soooooo cute! And it's really preparing me for motherhood. I've learned so much there that I didn't really know.
Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Oh, I almost forgot. I got some great news today. We made the final payment on my engagement ring last week and they sent us the papers on it today! So, 3 years after I got it, I finally own it!!! I think this is the first major thing that Shaun and I have paid off together, so it's a pretty great feeling! Also, our refridgerator should be paid off next month! I wish my car was closer...I still have 2 more years on it. Oh well, one thing at a time!
That's really it now. I have an employee meeting at the daycare in an hour, so I've got to get freshened up for that. I hope everyone else is having a great day!
Friday, June 9, 2006
Updates
Well, Lee Ann is simply craving more of my wonderful blog, so I thought I'd better post before I get in trouble! There's not really that much going on right now. I'm getting more pregnant by the day. I've started experiencing a little swelling now. Which is not very fun. I am now 26 weeks and 2 days. The third trimester is coming up quick! At our church we have 5 women that are all pregnant. Well, now we have 4. One delivered on Wednesday! And that means that I am next in line! Shaun, Russ (our pastor), and I went to the hospital to see the family and we got to see the baby right as they were bringing him in for the first time (after all the clean-up and everything). He is sooooo cute! His name is Hayden Luke and he weighed 8 lbs 12 oz and was 20 1/4 inches long. It was just so touching to get to share that moment! However, it also hit me like a ton of bricks that my time's a comin'! It made it seem so much more real. It's kinda scary, but I'm so excited, too.
I do have an update on the student ministry. We had our first Wednesday night worship time this past Wednesday. It went pretty well. Also, I think we were able to bond with a guy that is about to be a senior. His mom has been pretty worried about him because he wasn't wanting to come to church. She said that he has been very excited about the student ministry and has talked more about church than he has in a while. We really need your prayers on this whole thing. Student ministry is really a full time position in itself and Shaun has so many other duties, including the whole music ministry. There's no way that we can be what we need to be to those students without God's help so please remember us! Also, a small worry that I have right now is what my role is going to be once I have the baby. Shaun and I have always worked as a team and with a new baby it might be harder for me to help him for a while. I'm just speaking from observation. It seems like most new moms kinda fade into the background for a little while. And if the baby comes when he's supposed to, it will be right when school has just started back, which is usually a crucial time in student ministry. Plus, that will also be when we kick off practice for our Christmas drama. Ok, maybe my "small worry" is a lot bigger than what I thought. Just pray that I will be able to give my worries to the Lord.
Well, I guess I had more to say than I thought! Thanks for your patience and friendship!
I do have an update on the student ministry. We had our first Wednesday night worship time this past Wednesday. It went pretty well. Also, I think we were able to bond with a guy that is about to be a senior. His mom has been pretty worried about him because he wasn't wanting to come to church. She said that he has been very excited about the student ministry and has talked more about church than he has in a while. We really need your prayers on this whole thing. Student ministry is really a full time position in itself and Shaun has so many other duties, including the whole music ministry. There's no way that we can be what we need to be to those students without God's help so please remember us! Also, a small worry that I have right now is what my role is going to be once I have the baby. Shaun and I have always worked as a team and with a new baby it might be harder for me to help him for a while. I'm just speaking from observation. It seems like most new moms kinda fade into the background for a little while. And if the baby comes when he's supposed to, it will be right when school has just started back, which is usually a crucial time in student ministry. Plus, that will also be when we kick off practice for our Christmas drama. Ok, maybe my "small worry" is a lot bigger than what I thought. Just pray that I will be able to give my worries to the Lord.
Well, I guess I had more to say than I thought! Thanks for your patience and friendship!
Monday, June 5, 2006
Praises
I have to give God some glory here today. First let me give some background info. My husband Shaun is the Associate Pastor/Minister of Music at our church. The "associate pastor" part of the title just means that he does whatever else needs to be done!! LOL. Anyway, everything in our church has been going great...except the youth ministry. It's been neglected badly for about a year or so. And I don't think they've ever had a really dynamic one. (We've only been here for a few months.) So now that Shaun has had a chance to get the music ministry off the ground and fairly well organized, he's starting the student ministry back up. Our promotion Sunday was yesterday so we had several soon-to-be 7th graders move up. So we decided to have a coffee house type welcome party last night. The devil tried really hard to keep this from going well, but our God prevailed! It was a blast! The kids had a great time, we gained several really good adult volunteers, and more than likely received the approval to knock out some walls to create a youth room. So, I just wanted to take this time to praise God for what He started last night in the lives of our students and also for what He's going to do in the future. I know full well that we could never have pulled it off without Him!!!
Friday, June 2, 2006
Date Night
Well, Shaun and I just got home from our weekly date night. Yeah...it's only 10:30! We used to be able to stay out until 1 or 2 am. That was pre-pregnancy, however! We had a good time though. It wasn't anything fancy.
We went to Wal-mart in Fort Smith and picked up some things for a youth event we're having Sunday night. Then, we came back to Lavaca and tried out this pizza joint that everyone says you have to try. It's called Steffey's Pizza. There's a neat story behind it that I can't quite remember right now, but they are known for pizza subs. It's pretty good.
Then we decided to go up to the church and play some pool. (We have a pool table in our youth game room.) Now, I am not very skilled in pool. I know the rules pretty well and I even know what kind of english to use and when. But that comes from playing Yahoo! pool all the time! I'm pretty good at Yahoo! pool. But real pool is a completely different story. And my hubby is a pretty good player. He used to be really good, or so he tells me! At any rate, he's a lot better than me. But, being the sweetheart he is, he took it easy on me and gave me some pointers. And I think I improved some by the time we finished. I had to develop some pretty interesting positions sometimes. My big tummy kept getting in the way!
It was pretty funny. Anyway, we had a really good time and we didn't have to spend a fortune to do so! That's always a good thing! I'd like to encourage anyone who doesn't already have a weekly date night with their spouse to incorporate one. It is soooooo helpful in keeping our marriage fresh and exciting. And like I said, it doesn't have to be expensive or anything. We usually do different things. We usually eat out, but the locations vary from McDonald's to Outback. And it also usually involves a trip to Wal-mart! (We used to always walk around Wal-mart during our college days. It seems some things never change, even with a move to "the big city"!) Anyway, our date night has especially become important to us knowing that with the addition of a baby in a few months it will be harder for us to be alone together. Well I guess that's it for now!
Thursday, June 1, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Busted!
A woman pulled up to a red light behind another car. The driver of the car in front of her was talking on his cell phone, and shuffling through some papers on the seat beside him. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice. The woman began pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man still didn't move. The woman went ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dashboard. The light turned yellow. The woman blew the car's horn repeatedly, as she yelled and screamed curses at the man. The man finally noticed the commotion. He looked up, saw the yellow light, and accelerated through the intersection just as the light turned red. The woman was beside herself, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant she heard a tap on her window and looked into the face of a very serious looking policeman. The policeman told her to shut off her engine and step out of the car. The red-faced woman obeyed, speechless at what was happening. The policeman then arrested the woman and took her to the police station where she was booked and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours the woman was escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer was waiting with her personal effects. The policeman handed her the bag containing her things, and said, "I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn and screaming and cursing. Then I noticed the *Choose Life* license plate holder, the *Follow Me to Sunday School* bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed that you had stolen the car. Have a blessed day!"
Monday, May 29, 2006
More Madness
Okay, this is funny. I did Shaun's and he's a glazed donut, too! (If you haven't seen Lee Ann's blog, she was a boston creme donut and her husband Taylor was a glazed donut!)
| You Are a Glazed Donut |
 |
What Donut Are You?
Donut Madness!!!
Ok Lee Ann, I always knew we got along well for some reason! Here's my Donut test results:
| You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
 |
What Donut Are You?
Sunday, May 28, 2006
It's a ...(Drum roll please)
BOY!
Cayson Elliott Martin
We found out this weekend. Everything looks pretty good. The only thing is, I'm measuring a little too big. Like 3 weeks too big. They were worried I might have gestastional diabetes so they did a glucose test, but that came back negative. I was very thankful for that! So the doctor said that there could be 2 other reasons: (1) It's going to be a big baby! and (2) The dates could be wrong. He feels like number 1 is more likely because ultrasounds are usually pretty acurate these days. We'll see! Also, he could have just taken a big growth spurt this month and he might slow down a bit, too. So we're going to monitor it and see how he grows. We were expecting him to be pretty big, though, because I was 8 pounds 3 ounces and Shaun was 8 pounds 14 ounces. If he does get pretty big I may have to have a C-Section. I really don't want that, but I'll do whatever I need to make sure that both he and I are healthy. Just as soon as I can, I will try and post the ultrasound pics. I have to get my hubby to scan them for me first, though!
In other news, I just want to thank everyone for their comments! When I wrote My Stained Glass Masquerade, I was feeling pretty low! Your support means a lot to me! I'm doing better, though. As I'm getting to know everyone better here it's getting easier to be myself. And I'm learning to let God transform me into the person that He wants me to be, instead of who people think I need to be. It's really awesome how He's doing that, too. Every time I get a negative thought, or a worry about what people will think, that Still Small Voice just penetrates through all the negativity. So, thanks again for your prayers and your support!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
9 Things Only Women Understand
Just for fun...
9. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
8. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
7. Crying can be fun.
6. Fat clothes.
5. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
4. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
3. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
2. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
And the number one thing only women understand...1. Other women!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Baby Love
I have discovered something. I'm becoming a mother. Not just physically, but emotionally. The first trimester was pretty much all about me. What I wanted (or didn't want, mostly) to eat, buying new clothes, etc., etc. Now that I can feel the baby kicking, I've found that I'm falling in love with my baby. It's about him now. Now when I go to a store, instead of heading straight for the maternity clothes to see what cute clothes they've gotten in, I head to the baby stuff. I did buy some new shirts and some shoes yesterday, but only because I really needed them. Seriously. My mind is constantly occupied with how we're going to do the nursery, or things we need to buy or register for, or issues that might come up down the road. Like when he will start school. (His birthday will be in September which would make him either the youngest in his class, or one of the oldest.) Things like that. I love feeling him kick. I can't wait for it to be hard enough for Shaun to be able to feel it. Time is passing so quickly. I'm already 23 weeks, more than halfway there. It's scary but exciting. I know our life will never be the same after this. So I'm trying to enjoy the little things right now that I may never have again. Like laying in bed with my husband until after noon on Fridays and Saturdays. (We both have those days off.) I know I'm rambling, but I just need to ponder these things for a while. Mary, the mother of Jesus did that. The Bible says she pondered these things in her heart. I wonder if she would have blogged, given the opportunity. Please remember us in your prayers, if anyone reads this. I know we're going to need them!
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
My Stained Glass Masquerade
I went to a Casting Crowns concert Monday night. Since then, one of the songs has been haunting me. Now, I'd heard this song several times before, but it has taken on new meaning. It is personal for me. It's called "Stained Glass Masquerade". It's about christians who sit in church and pretend everything is going great in their life. Here's the words:
Words and Music by Mark Hall and Nichole Nordeman
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
What a powerful song! It hit me yesterday that I've been living my own stained glass masquerade. I am a minister's wife. Yes, I spend time with God. Yes, I am a "good" person. I do what's expected of me. I always have. I don't like making waves. I realized yesterday that I'm afraid to show when I fail. I feel like I'm on a pedestal because I am "the Music Minister's wife". I feel like more is expected of me than the average person. So when I mess up, I don't want anyone to know it. I am in a ladies Bible study at church. We meet at a lady's house once a week and eat girl food and discuss our Bible study. It's usually a pretty fun time. However, during the discussion time, I haven't felt comfortable answering any questions simply because I'm (1) I'm shy and (2) I'm afraid that my answer will not be up to par with what they think a music minister's wife should say. Am I putting some pressure on myself or what? Well, this week I got a little behind on my Bible study. Since we went to the concert Monday night, I didn't get a chance to catch up. I didn't think it would be a problem since the leader doesn't pressure anyone to answer. I figured no one would know that I messed up. Well, this week she asked the questions differently. She made each of us draw a question from the Bible study. Well, I was doing some praying that my question would be from the first part of the week!!! But, wouldn't you know, it wasn't. Now the actual question wasn't that hard, but I just panicked. I ended up confessing that I didn't finish my study. I still had to answer the question though. Like I said, it wasn't hard. But, I admitted my failure to everyone. I was so mortified that I'd fallen short in everyone's eyes of what I should be. I wanted to start crying on the spot. (Hormones don't help, either, when you're 5 months pregnant.) But I answered the best I could and we moved on. There were no words of condemnation, but a few of encouragement. Still, I wonder what they really thought. On the way home, I let myself cry. And it was a good one too. I realized that the whole time I was more worried about what my small group would think, rather than what God thought. I immediately became ashamed. But how do you fight something like that? My perfectionism didn't start when I got married. I've been that way my whole life. My parents pushed me to be the best, but they didn't have to push hard. I wanted it. Bad. Now, I don't necessarily want to be the best at being a christian, but I do want to live up to everyone's expectations of me. It's so hard because there are so many. This is an issue I am going to have to pray hard about. And give it to God. And to practice, I am going to work on my response to the question "How are you doing?" I'm going to try and actually tell the truth, instead of automatically answering "Fine." If I can reveal my weaknesses, maybe then someone else can be blessed by encouraging me. And I might be able to help someone else, too. If there is anyone reading this at all, please pray that I will depend on God to help me and that I will seek His approval only.
Words and Music by Mark Hall and Nichole Nordeman
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
What a powerful song! It hit me yesterday that I've been living my own stained glass masquerade. I am a minister's wife. Yes, I spend time with God. Yes, I am a "good" person. I do what's expected of me. I always have. I don't like making waves. I realized yesterday that I'm afraid to show when I fail. I feel like I'm on a pedestal because I am "the Music Minister's wife". I feel like more is expected of me than the average person. So when I mess up, I don't want anyone to know it. I am in a ladies Bible study at church. We meet at a lady's house once a week and eat girl food and discuss our Bible study. It's usually a pretty fun time. However, during the discussion time, I haven't felt comfortable answering any questions simply because I'm (1) I'm shy and (2) I'm afraid that my answer will not be up to par with what they think a music minister's wife should say. Am I putting some pressure on myself or what? Well, this week I got a little behind on my Bible study. Since we went to the concert Monday night, I didn't get a chance to catch up. I didn't think it would be a problem since the leader doesn't pressure anyone to answer. I figured no one would know that I messed up. Well, this week she asked the questions differently. She made each of us draw a question from the Bible study. Well, I was doing some praying that my question would be from the first part of the week!!! But, wouldn't you know, it wasn't. Now the actual question wasn't that hard, but I just panicked. I ended up confessing that I didn't finish my study. I still had to answer the question though. Like I said, it wasn't hard. But, I admitted my failure to everyone. I was so mortified that I'd fallen short in everyone's eyes of what I should be. I wanted to start crying on the spot. (Hormones don't help, either, when you're 5 months pregnant.) But I answered the best I could and we moved on. There were no words of condemnation, but a few of encouragement. Still, I wonder what they really thought. On the way home, I let myself cry. And it was a good one too. I realized that the whole time I was more worried about what my small group would think, rather than what God thought. I immediately became ashamed. But how do you fight something like that? My perfectionism didn't start when I got married. I've been that way my whole life. My parents pushed me to be the best, but they didn't have to push hard. I wanted it. Bad. Now, I don't necessarily want to be the best at being a christian, but I do want to live up to everyone's expectations of me. It's so hard because there are so many. This is an issue I am going to have to pray hard about. And give it to God. And to practice, I am going to work on my response to the question "How are you doing?" I'm going to try and actually tell the truth, instead of automatically answering "Fine." If I can reveal my weaknesses, maybe then someone else can be blessed by encouraging me. And I might be able to help someone else, too. If there is anyone reading this at all, please pray that I will depend on God to help me and that I will seek His approval only.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
My "Grown-up" Blog
Well, I finally did. I got a "grown-up at" blog. I've had one at xanga.com for a while now. Mainly at the insistence of my little brother. But looking through it, I've noticed that there just aren't that many people on there my age or older. And I feel funny writing about anything other that just general things, like what I did that day. It has been a great way to keep track of some of our youth, though. They think it's the coolest thing that I have a xanga. So, I will keep my xanga and update every once in a while. There's not much going on in my life; it's pretty much the same-old, same-old. But I am getting really addicted to blogging. I'm not a great writer or anything, but there's something therapuetic about putting your thoughts out there, knowing that someone might read them. Anyhow, I've been thinking about a lot of things lately that I just really to get down on paper...err...screen. So there will be plenty of posts to come. Hopefully.
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