This Christmas season I have had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. This is really hard for me because I love Christmas. I put my tree up the day after Thanksgiving, start listening to Christmas music in October, and usually have my shopping done by the first of December. And you would think this year would be especially exciting since it's Cayson's first Christmas. But some things are hindering my enthusiasm. I though maybe if I address the problems then I can get past them. So here goes...
1. We went to Warren this year for Thanksgiving and didn't come home until that Saturday night. Therefore I didn't get my tree up until late Sunday night. And it took longer than I expected so after midnight we still had stuff everywhere and I had to have the place cleaned up by the next morning because I had to babysit. (Wow that was a long runon sentence.) It just seemed more like a chore after that.
2. We still aren't through with our shopping. Mainly because we're broke.
3. We haven't had a chance to go look at lights yet, which is also one of my favorite things to do.
4. Our anniversary was this past Wednesday and it was spent at the church, again because we're broke.
5. People shopping are rude this time of year. A lot are, anyway. I went to Walmart today. First of all, I parked in the back so I wouldn't have to fight for a space. It was perfect, too. There was a lone buggy sitting there, waiting for me to get it. It's easier for me to put Cayson in the buggy so I don't have to carry him in the carrier all the way. He's pretty heavy. Anyway, this man pulls in the spot next to me, at the same time. Because I'm a mother that has lots of stuff to get, including a baby, he beat me to the buggy. And he didn't even have anything to put in it. So I had to carry Cayson, who weighs about 16 pounds now, plus the weight of his carrier, all the way to the front. Plus, carrying my purse and his diaper bag. Once I got in Walmart and got a buggy, it was so packed. I had to go to the Christmas section, which I found that they are already marking down and condensing the aisles. They will probably put out Valentine's stuff tomorrow. Or maybe even Easter. Anyway, here I am with a buggy and a baby, I'm trying to get down an aisle and someone starts coming down the other way. Also, there is a Walmart associate working on one side of the aisle, so it's pretty much one way only. And the person just keeps on coming. They didn't even have a buggy! Whew...I'm getting mad again. Ibetter stop!
Okay, I need to list some positive things before I close this blogging session.
1. I have a wonderful husband and son who are both healthy, happy, and handsome!
2. I have a place to live, 2 cars to drive, food to eat, cell phones with bluetooth, a cute dog, a wonderful church family, this list could go on and on.
3. The most important: I have a wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ who came to earth to save me from my sin.
Wow, that really puts things in perspective! Thanks for letting me sort through my "Scrooginess" and really get to the heart of the season!
P.S. One more good thing: we're getting fiber to the home! (It's something to do with the internet that makes it really, really fast and my husband has assured me it's a great thing!)
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2 comments:
hang in there, girl. i know it's frustrating. i just struggled with happiness yesterday - i guess it's going around!
i didn't get to give the new mom tips because i wasn't here, but can i give a few? if not, feel free to delete me with no hard feelings! i hope they help and don't hurt!
-don't expect ANY kind of normal until Cayson is at least 1 year old. really. drop all expectations of yourself, husband, and baby. (this is not just true of new timers, but i prepare myself with each child.) you're learning a whole new life, and against what the world will tell you - you shouldn't have this down pat within a few months. your reality altered. give into the chaos for a while and realize you will regain control before too long. really, you will.
-some things will never be the same - ie. doing anything that you could actually do before without interruption. but Christ is making you more patient everyday. He doesn't only expect you to train up Cayson, He is training you up. and don't stress too much (right, as if that's possible?!) He will do it for you.
-you may not realize it, but you're already doing awesome! it took me forever to even realize i needed to find a buggy to park by! you are such an awesome mama - i can tell already just by your posts! and what an amazing wife you are. to praise your husband is such a blessing and you do it freely!!
-i love you, girl, and will keep praying for you. i hope this helped and didn't frustrate you further. call or email anytime!
ditto ditto ditto. You have a new baby and life is insane.. that's normal! :) I have to say that Christmas this year really overwhelmed me as well. I've been EXHAUSTED this pg, and I was sick the entire week of Christmas on top of it. I was not a happy camper. Everything felt like a chore... even opening presents with the kids as much as I hate to say it. (which is why I've yet to post a Christmas post.. I'm just done with this holiday season!!) Even thinking of destroying my house, yet again, to undecorate makes me crazy. lol See, you're not alone! Sometimes things like this will just slide right off of your back.. like you do it all of the time. Other times it will seem like the world is going to cave in on top of you. The good news is, the world has yet to actually cave in, so obviously everyone finds a way to make it through these times. :)
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